


Still Broken

by SerenVic



Series: Lost and Found [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:32:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7761607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerenVic/pseuds/SerenVic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus and Draco find The Weasley's come to their help as they try to work out why and where Harry has disappeared to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Broken

**Author's Note:**

> General disclaimer.

Harry was in pain. He was hiding under the bedclothes and not facing up to anything. He wanted to reach out and touch the cool skin of Draco and feel the hot breath of Severus on his neck but he was alone.

After a while he sat up and realized it was time to go and keep the appointment. As he slowly showered, changed and made his way downstairs all he could think of was home. Home with Draco singing off tune to the radio whilst making breakfast, home with Severus humpfing as he read the Prophet and home where he was loved and accepted. He shook his head, no that wasn’t right was it he wouldn’t be loved and accepted there now. If they knew the real reason for his sudden departure they’d have told him not to go and suffered more for him staying. Best they hate him rather than destroy their world completely.

As he walked towards the institute he thought back over the last few months, and he knew Severus and Draco would be ok. Initially they would be concerned that they wouldn’t survive without their third, but seven years was a long time and in fact they had softened and mellowed towards each other without realizing it. He may have been the glue at the beginning but they had made so many links between themselves since then. It was the right decision they would have a life, they would eventually adopt as they had been talking about and their lives would be all they should. Harry didn’t deserve their love or acceptance so this was the best way, he wasn’t going to drag them down into the mire with him. 

As he saw the institute loom ahead of him, he took a deep breath and readied himself. He didn’t deserve to think of those who had loved him, they deserved so much more than this. It was time to let them go and step into what was to come.

***

Severus and Draco were thankful for the family Harry had created around them, somehow the Weasley menace as they had quietly called the family when it was just the two of them were thoughtful supportive and not noisy for once. As they explored the pensieve memories, Percy had set up some sort of war room with a large timeline trying to work out when Harry had started seeming to fade before them. Severus was stunned no one was blaming them for not noticing and he was really wanting to ask why not, but at the same time scared too.

-because Harry hides things well.

Molly’s voice echoed in Severus’ mind.

-Shocked you there didn’t I! Your thoughts were very loud and also written on Draco’s face. I have skills you know, Mr potions man! Harry has always hidden problems from people he loves and we all know he hasn’t really let go of the guilt of the death of those he loved. He didn’t leave you both because he didn’t love you. He left because he loved you both so much he thought it was the only answer.

Severus could feel the emotions building and stood up and went to leave the room. Molly just stood up and walked over and grabbed him in a Molly cruncher of a hug. No words were said but Severus could feel his body relaxing and then Draco came and took over from Molly. He was embarrassed when he finally let go of the younger man but no one was looking anything but warm and caring. How had they not seen how Harry had not just changed their lives but added so much to it as well.

Percy spoke with an earnest teacher sort of voice

‘I think he starts to look paler around 4 months ago, did anything happen then? Anything unusual?’

Draco looked at Severus, not really remembering anything. Harry was a sociable person, he’d go off and see friends but always liked sleeping in his own bed between the two taller men. For all his charm, chatty social nature Harry needed a lot of love and care especially when the nightmares hit. As Draco thought that a thought occurred to him

‘He saw the Dursleys.’

Severus’s face grew dark.

‘Why the hell did he see them?’ 

Draco sighed, ‘His cousin Dudley had contacted him said his aunt was ill and would he like to visit. He went there and back in one day and didn’t say much so I assumed he would talk about when and if he wanted too. It’s always really hard when they are involved, Harry has so many mixed feelings we walk carefully round it.’

Hermione looked up ‘So, we need to speak to Dudley. I think it might be best if Arthur and Bill or Charlie go, if you two go you’ll hex him to death, if Ron and I go..’

Her voice trailed off as a growl came from Ron. Arthur quickly interjected.

‘The 2 boys and I will go.’

***

Harry walked into the institute, when he had done his research he realized this was the best place for him, a combination of both muggle and magic medicine. He was grateful that when he realized he was going to need help that Blaise had connections with the institute. Blaise had been so much help, helping sort out things so he could just disappear and he had been very willing and understanding why Harry wanted him to make an unbreakable vow. 

The receptionist had hair that was an alarming neon green, Harry almost expected to see Tonk’s face underneath it but it wasn’t and Harry felt the inevitable drop in his stomach as he remembered that it couldn’t possibly be Tonks.

He walked up slowly to the desk and the kind faced non – Tonks receptionist asked who he was looking for then directed him to the lifts and told him to go to the sixth floor. Almost in a daze Harry made his way to the lifts and waited for the doors to open.

***

Severus was pacing around the potions lab, waiting for the others to return from the Dursley’s was creating him great anxiety, he found himself going over all their interactions with Harry over the last few months, what had they missed? Who had hurt him? Had the nightmares completely taken over? Why didn’t he see? Why didn’t Draco? Why didn’t he trust either of them enough? When would he stop trying to save others? Why wasn’t he here the imbecilic dunderhead? Did he not know he was loved?

Draco sat and watched the pacing, he knew that Severus was working himself up and eventually he would either explode at him or blow up the glassware in the lab. It wouldn’t be the first time he couldn’t control his emotions and there would be the need to repair glassware. As he watched the pacing his mind was also racing but unlike Severus it was more focused. What had the Dursley’s told him? Why did Harry think he needed to leave?

They heard the wards sound as Arthur and his two eldest sons returned. They rushed up the stairs to find out what they had learned.

Arthur motioned for all of them to sit down, Severus briefly was amazed there was space for everyone and how everyone had a cup, when did he need and acquire enough cups for all these people who seemed to also be his family? Draco seemed to realize his mind was wandering in its nervousness and laid a hand on his arm and he brought his attention back to Arthur.

‘Apparently Dudley asked to see Harry as Petunia was dying, by the time Harry got there she had died a few days previously. He wanted Harry to know that he had found some of his mothers things in the attic when he was sorting out the house as he was planning on selling, so wanted to make sure he had them.’ Arthur paused ‘It seemed Petunia had been recently diagnosed with mental health problems and he wanted to tell Harry he was sorry for the way he had been treated as a child, Dudley has been seeing a counselor and has come to understand his mother may have had problems longer than they knew and encouraged him in bullying Harry.’

Draco burst out ‘But his uncle..’

Arthur continued ‘Dudley explained he thinks his mother was attracted to the bully in Vernon and that’s how maybe her mental health problems were not noticed until after his death as Vernon would have encouraged the nastier side of Petunia.’

There was silence in the room, Severus spoke finally

‘So why has Harry left? What does Petunia’s nastiness and subsequent mental health problems do with Harry feeling he should leave? I’m glad Dudley has come to realize he was obnoxious but why did that drive Harry into such a tailspin he would leave?’

Hermione hummed quietly under her breath and Ron looked at her recognizing that she was starting to maybe put pieces together slowly.

‘There are some mental health disorders that can run in families, Harry has always struggled with killing and the amount of deaths he sees as his fault. Do you think maybe Harry has decided he is ill and shouldn’t be with people? It’s the kind of thing he would do, look at how he was going to go off and find horcruxes on his own.’ 

Draco looked at her ‘he kept hidden for a long time exactly how bad the nightmares were and how badly his memories of his childhood affected him. Seems the sort of logic Harry would come up with.’

There was stillness in the room. Each person thought of how lonely Harry could make himself at times, how he would isolate himself believing himself to be so much at fault for the violence that they had all seen.

Severus reached out and grabbed Draco’s hand. They silently regarded each other, there was no need for words, they both could imagine how Harry would take upon himself the idea that he was ill and afflicting others with his problems. The pain they both felt was painfully obvious to the rest of the room.

Hermione leaned across and looked at the pair of them

‘He does know you love him. He does love you, but you know Harry, rush off to save the world at his own expense. This is just like him.’

Severus huffed ‘So I’ve got to save the idiot boy again.’

There was weak laughter in the room but it was clear they were going to find him and Severus and Draco were going to make sure he never left their side again.

***

Harry slowly made his way up to the sixth floor, he always hated lifts just like apparating his stomach seemed to tie all up in knots. He walked down the hall and saw another receptionist. 

‘I’ve come to see Dr Binazi. My name is Harry Jones’ He quietly spoke to the older lady.

‘He’s with a patient but he won’t be long Mr Jones.’

Harry sat down on a chair and stared at his feet, Blaise had said this man could help but it was a very new treatment and highly risky. All Harry wanted was to make sure he wouldn’t ever become like Aunt Petunia or Voldermort.

It was about ten minutes later Harry was called in to see the Doctor. As he stood, he thought briefly of his two loves, he hoped he had been right that they would be happy, he hoped too that maybe this Doctor could calm his mind.

***

Back in his house, full of memories of love, laughter, fights, passionate lovemaking and slowly building a life together his lovers and his family were planning how to find out where he was, Draco had decided to make inquiries at St Mungo’s and talk to Blaise who had become a specialist in PTSD and other mental health disorders. Severus was going to see if he could find any traces of Harry’s magic and where he had gone. The Weasleys were just going to do whatever they could to help. It did seem finally they were making a start in finding Harry.


End file.
